SIDDHA

many times i have wept because i felt life had dealt me a raw blow,
and i experienced so much chaos and deconstruction…shattering
my old structures… creating havoc in my emotional body…
what grief and turmoil the emotional body can cause is unimaginable
if we allow it to.

i can tell that many souls today are being faced with choices, and some
of these are somewhat ‘forced’ choices, because some of i have chosen
to turn away so often, chosen not to acknowledge, not to see what is in
front of me. i have withdrawn inside, shielding my self, hoping the
situation will just go away if i ignore it long enough.

yes, i am so succesful in doing so. i burried it deeply. now it rots!
consuming me.i have ignored so many emotional issues that my body has
been affected and my mind. i sadly fail to realize that in these situations
i must take some action, and to do this requires to look at a situation openly,
deeply and bravely. facing my fear, my worst enemy..my self.

there are others who have already completed this process. being worked on
so to speak. some are faced with a devastating, painful emotional situation,
usually involving another soul. i have faced the fact that what i want cannot
always be so. particularly when another soul is involved, for this soul
has choices different to mine. and no soul owns another. no soul can
force another to do something they do not want to do. i know for sure,
that trying to do this will only lead me to greater pain and more Karma.

with this i realized i want to let go of something or someone,
this will really means more pain and sadness. it is a process of letting
that soul or situation go. the twist is when you appear to let go,
and yet you don’t, you feel not wanting to let go. pulling you apart,
clinging to other side until death! realising this gives me so much
resentment because i had to experience this pain of letting go…
the transistion from hurting, healing and to wellness…

i am now willing to totally let go… with all of my being and strength i will!

i know this experience is positive soul growth. i will not hold on to my resentment
and anger anymore. i release all fear of what is ahead of me. i want a new life,
a new situation. they say we create our own situations in our lives, whether
good or bad, we create it , mmm…though not easy we will learn through these
situations.

i will start it by learning to let go totally, with no anger, and no resentment.
let go on all levels, past and present…the physical, the emotional, and the mental.
i let go…perhaps through this work, this wonderful process of inner sourcing…
i may pass my test of fire, and achieve the path of transformation…
and be one with the sons of apollo.

my past experiences have gone, but why do i remember it with pain?
i know i cannot change my past, but i can change how i feel about it right now…
i have to release all emotions attached to my painful memories in the past,
in the present…even in my past lives.

i forgive and release all past events and people. i release and let go them
in the highest good! i release them, as i am released to mine. i know now that
the events of my past were there to help me grow and transform. an inner alchemy
should take place…my test of fire!… with this knowledge, i now accept,
and let go to be free…

i call on you, sons of apollo

i call on you, angel of fire

i call on you, white eagle

edge of highness, devourer of time

give me courage to face my samskara…

when i was 5years old, Tia Ine taught me and my sister this prayer:

“Angel of God, my guardian dear,
to whom God’s love commits me here.
Ever this day be at my side,
to light and guard, to rule and guide.
AMEN.”

how i wish i could easily memorized it then…Tia Ine, transformed us to be a prayerful brats. she’s a typical matandang dalaga… madasalin. she awakened my interest to spirituality at a young age… i still have my first catechism book that i got from my mom and up to now i still remember that prayer and even taught it to my kids…

thank you Tia Ine wherever you are…

I wanted to begin my blog by tuning in to the Presence….

The Great Invocation

From the point of Light within the Mind of God
Let light stream forth into the minds of men.
Let Light descend on Earth.

From the point of Love within the Heart of God
Let love stream forth into the hearts of men.
May Christ return to Earth.

From the centre where the Will of God is known
Let purpose guide the little wills of men –
The purpose which the Masters know and serve.

From the centre which we call the race of men
Let the Plan of Love and Light work out
And may it seal the door where evil dwells.

Let Light and Love and Power restore the Plan on Earth.